If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
