My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
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He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
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I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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