I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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