my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
