oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
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I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
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I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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