chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
