i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
