hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
