its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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