those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So much rum. So many feels.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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