Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
