I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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