They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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