what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
