My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
