A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
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I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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