i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
