Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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