I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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