I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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