Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think I just sharted jello shots
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
