Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
