I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
