You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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