So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
