her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
