yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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