Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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