It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
