Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
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I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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