I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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