...so i touched it.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
