thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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