were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
