apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
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It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
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The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Come share oat with me in your robe
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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