UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
