I should be sponsored by Trojan
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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