he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
