Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
