She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
