so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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