dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
