whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
