Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
