My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
