he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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