If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
