she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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