i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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