all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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