i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
