we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Terrible idea I love it
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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