Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
