He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
