Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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