worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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