it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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