i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
