..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
This is the high leading the old right now
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
