i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
